But what about the perfectionist and control freak thing?

So funny how I wrote a whole post about one thing, totally ignoring the title of the post. Truthfully, I just like interesting titles. I mean, they do have truth in my reality but I often don't end up writing about everything in my titles.

But really, what am I referring to? I am referring to my attempt to fulfill my dream and do writing. But I'm so freaked out by it, scared of failure and scared of my writing not being good, that I'm finding myself frozen by the fear. I am not writing nearly as much as I should be.

I am also not approaching one of my amazing job offers in the way I wish I was. I just want to go for it, try it out, see how it works out. But instead I'm fucking frozen in place.

And this, I think, is because I'm a control freak - I cannot face facts that I don't have control over everything - and I'm a perfectionist - I want my writing to be perfect which means I'm a control freak because I don't realize that I don't have full control over how my writing is going to be in the end. All I have control over is spending time and effort doing it. A normal amount of effort and time.

And that's all I have to say about that.

QE