Crush continued

Oh, how I wish I had something better to do than think and write about my new crush but... oh! I do.

Sigh... maybe I do but that doesn't mean I am.

Today was a social thing. Me and Mr. Crush(er) live quite close to each other and so at the last minute he asked me if I wanted a lift. So he picked me up near my house. It was nice of him.

Wow. I just sat here for a few minutes day dreaming about him. I'm not kidding! I stopped writing, leaned forwards, leaned my head in my hands and just stared into nothingness while thinking about him.

How crazy are we?!?!?!

Anyway, he does things that TOTALLY bother me. But I TOTALLY like him. I just want to look at him and stand (or sit) near him. I just wanna talk to him.

I have to make a decision at some point if I want to talk to him about all of this. The 1st thing I'd ask is, "When you said you wished I was 22, was that like, 'This is what I have to say, now lets move on,' or, 'This is what I have to say and I'm open to discussing it further?'"

I suppose that if he were to say the former, then I'd have a pretty clear idea of how he feels and I'd have an easier time moving on. If he were to say the latter, then there'd be something to talk about.

On the way over, his friend was also in the car. At one point he asked me how old I am and when I said 28 he exclaimed something like, "Wow!" It doesn't really bother me but I do wonder if that is/could be an issue for Mr. Crush. I'd think that his peers would think it's the coolest thing ever.

I feel like in person we've started having this thing going on where we're somewhat on the same wave-length. I can make a joke that he totally gets and visa versa. And we even have a few inside jokes already. Weird, I know. Even my status on facebook right now is for his benefit!

But it keeps being me initiating contact. Mostly. Like, I could be online now for hours in MSN IM and not hear a word from him. And I don't think that he's not around. Sometimes it is but there are times I've started a conversation and he's right there.

So I sort of feel like there are mixed messages. In person I really do feel like he somewhat has a crush on me. And after we chat he says things like, "It was amazing talking to you, as usual." But on the other hand it feels like he's not actually thinking about me at all. I'd say that maybe he's not making contact on purpose in order to not make too much of a connection but I actually highly doubt that.

Sigh, sigh, sigh...

QE