Should I kill myself?

Don't worry. I'm not really ready to kill myself. I'm just trying to get you to read my blog. Is that unfair? All is fair in blogs and whatever.

Oh, she sighs deeply... I wish I could write what I want to write.

I'm getting the feeling more and more that everyone has this problem. Everyone has the idea in their head the idea of what type of writing they want to do. But that isn't necessarily the plan of the universe. The universe wants Hilary to write about herself, Heather to rhyme her heart away, me to write one sentences or something.

It's interesting that it's the women in the class who are expressing their concern about this. I wonder if that is just a coincidence or if it is at least partly a gender thing.

But this is something that is connected to everything in life. Wanting to be something you're not. Wanting so desperately for something else to be reality.

Yesterday we did a thing. I never know what to call these things. Anyway, the point was to help us get a feel for the head space that feels good for writing in. It's the space where you don't feel like you're making things up, trying to remember or just trying to do anything, really. All you're doing is writing what's coming to you. It's like these ideas and thoughts are being sent to you and all your job is, is to write them down.

It was very interesting. It worked. I got a bit of a feel for that space.