I am back, obsessing again about finding a guy. I'm now on 2 dating websites and I am spending tons of time on them. I got home really early today. I finish at noon on Mondays. I immediately opened up the computer and got online. I slept a bit but have been on the sites almost the whole day.
It's so unhealthy. I feel like I don't have control over it. I don't know what to do because it's like this thing that I want to change and do something about (the thing being that I'm alone) but this doesn't help. If I'm online all the time, does that mean I'm going to find a guy that I actually like? You'd think yes. I'm there, people see me and so I'm being proactive about my situation.
Well, it must be bull shit because it feels horrible. I know I'm spending too much time on it. I know I'm going into "what if" mode big-time. It feels really bad but I can't stop.
I have an idea, finally, for a book! Won't write about it here cause right now it needs to stay a secret. But it's a good idea and I should do something about it. If only I'd stop spending hours looking for a boy.
Is it possible to fill one void (feeling lonely) with another void (being professional or in some other way, active)?
QE
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