A new apartment, a few stage

I am sitting in my new room in my new apartment. It's very temporary. I'll probably only be here till the end of June. But my sister who I was staying with since I arrived in Toronto, really helped me make this apartment livable and homey for me. It was terribly dirty. She cleaned my bedroom and the bathroom (what is worse than cleaning someone else's dirt in the bathroom?!). You wouldn't believe how nice it is now. The kitchen is still disgusting. The living room is also pretty gross.

This is all so new for me. I'm so unsure how I feel about this. I felt very badly this morning. I felt like all this effort is being put in "just" for me to make this frivilous move. Why do I need to move into an apartment? Why can't I "just" stay with my sister or my aunt while I'm in Toronto? It's such a short amount of time. What's the big deal? And SO much effort put into this. As my sister was cleaning, I felt so guilty. I felt stupid.

I just need to keep reminding myself why I'm doing this. AND, that with my reasons, the amount of effort put into this apartment, just because it's "only" for me, doesn't mean it isn't worth it! Amazingly, I'm worth hard effort. If I feel I need something - and I feel I need this - then IT'S WORTH IT!!!! Because I'M WORTH IT!!!!

Imagine getting used to that idea!

QE