My job is so OK. It's 7 hours which could seem long but though it can stretch out, it's not terrible. I'm calling person after person offering to sell them baseball tickets. So what? I mean, if you sell, cool. If you don't, cool. It's not even a permanent job so it doesn't really matter if I do "well" or not.
My bosses are annoying because they're all pushy about how much we should be selling even though I think they expect (or probably pretend to expect) too much from us. So what?
So what? SO WHAT?! SOOOOOOO WHAT?!?!?!?!
I'm just trying to figure out with my boss what makes me feel so bad in this job and in other jobs too. What makes me suffer? Definitely it's not the situation. It's me. Something in me makes me suffer no matter what I'm doing.
Guilt? I'm worried I'm bad? I'm worried I might be good which is bad? No matter what, I'm worried I'm doing something "bad." If I sell, maybe that's bad. If I don't sell, that's bad. And anywhere in the middle could be bad too.
I'm quite convinced that this bad issue is the main one. I'm a nervous wreck about the repercussions of my actions. Yes, while selling baseball tickets!
My therapist said that anger leads to a person feeling or worrying about being, bad. I don't get the connection. I'm trying to figure that out.
It's crazy that I start dreading going to work when all I'm doing there is selling baseball tickets. It's so good I'm doing this so that I can see that there really is a problem here. Something has made me terrified of being bad. What happened?
QE
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment