I was picked up by my hairdresser

Tee hee... I decided I wanted to get my hair cut today. I called a "regular" hairdresser and they didn't have any time for me today. So, following a friend's recommendation, I went to the school for hairdressing. It's also a whole lot cheaper. And I'm brave when it comes to hair because I've shaved my hair and so I know it's OK. I always think, "Worse come to worse, I'll shave off my hair."

So I walked in and was sent to have my hair washed and cut by Rami. We were all shmoozing and slowly he started saying things that made me realize he liked me. Like, for example, when I said I'm going away, he said, "Take me with you." But that could just be like, "I also want to get out of here." But he told me that I look so much like a girl he had a crush on in high school. He said we have the same eyes. Tee hee... We were talking about life and stuff - my conversations often automatically go "deep," especially if someone starts talking to me about stupid, worthless things like money - and after a while he said to me, "Ani ohev et harosh shelach," which literally means, "I like your head." That was pretty funny because I thought he meant my head, literally. So we laughed and he said he meant the way I think.

After a while it was so obvious he was developing a crush on me, that his teacher (who was working on someone else's hair at the time) said to him, "Work professionally and if you really want, just ask her out for coffee." : )

Anyway, that type of thing continued but I wasn't freaked out. I was nervous because it makes me nervous and especially in this case, I wasn't sure what I should do if he asked me out. I'm so confused and complicated right now that I'm not sure it's a cool idea to just go out to coffee with some stranger-boy. On the other hand, what's the big deal. No, I don't mean that. I actually think it just might be a good thing.

When I left, I said thank you and he looked like he wasn't making any type of a move so I just left. I was a bit disappointed but what could I do. But then, when I came out of the bathroom, he was standing in the stairs and he said he wanted to ask me to coffee. I hesitated and he said, "Just say yes or no." I said, "1st of all, it's really flattering..." and he said, "But..." and I said, "No but. I just don't know what to say. I'm so complicated right now so I don't know what I should do." He said that he didn't think I ever would, but if I wanted to meet him sometime, I should just come to the school. I said that instead I'd take his phone number. So I did.

And he walked away.

My heart was going crazy... What to do... I started thinking, very seriously, that I should call him right then and ask him if he wanted to meet me. I felt like a scardy-cat that I didn't do it. I was walking through town with my mind racing. What should I do? What do I want to do? What should I do?!?!?!? Something in me really wanted to just call him right then. Just go out for a freakin' cup of coffee with the boy who was courageous enough to ask me out. The boy who I doubt anything will work out with him but I'd probably pretty much enjoy the cup of coffee. Damn! He was so brave. I love when guys are brave. Sigh sigh sigh.

But me and him are in such different places! I'm so scared of touching a guy. I don't know if that's even what I want. And these non-religious guys expect touch. I mean, it would seem so screwed up to them if I didn't wanna touch them.

I don't get why he'd want to go out with me anyway. I'm so not his type. He says he likes when girls put lots of effort into their hair, nails, etc. He said I should colour my hair, or something like that. I'm like, "No thanks!" He thought I should put more effort into my hair. But geez, what a waste of time, energy and money. I like my hair how it is.

Truth is, he puts more effort into his hair than I do into mine. That can't be good for a relationship. : )

Blah blah blah. Think think think think think think think think think..............

Bottom line, WHATEVER. That is the bottom line.

I'm just so complimented.

This is such a fucking journey. Full-fledged journey, man. Full-fledged. Or better said, it's a goddamn free-fall.

AND I'M FREE.....
FREE FALLING.......

QE