Dating in real

Last night I decided I need to get off the dating websites. With the help and support of my closest friend, I was able to do it. It was not easy at all. But I did it. Afterwards it hasn't been easy either. Every time I think of what I did, it feels very big to me. It is big to me.

But it's real. It wasn't real what was going on with me on the dating websites. I think it can be a great thing but for me, as I mentioned before, it had become obsessive and a coping mechanism which I came to realize, wasn't being used in a healthy way.

So, I'm off the sites for less than 12 hours and into my email account arrives a new and strange letter. I was still fast asleep. At 11:30am, around 4 hours after this letter arrives, I arrived next to my computer in order to notice this new letter. It is from no other than my accountant.

My accountant, Isaac, is a sweet, cute guy. I've noticed him. I've thought about him a bit. But this morning he wrote me a confession of his feelings for me... In poem form! So sweet. He wrote that when he thinks of me, it makes him smile inside. When I come to the office he wants to figure out how to make me smile. It makes him sad to hear about so much pain from me. He thinks I'm cute. But all this isn't his fault, but mine, for being so amazing.

So sweet. I was like, "WOW MAN!!!" I mean, so freakin' brave, right? The bravery is so amazing to me.

Anyway I wrote him back a totally mixed up letter that when I read it later, I understood why he was totally confused. My feelings were so mixed up and I was writing what I was feeling so it was very confusing what I ended up with. So that made him really uncomfortable and embarrassed because he didn't know what my feelings were. So just a little while ago I wrote him again, this time more clearly, what I felt.

The bottom line is that I'm for sure willing to give it a try.

Funny: A couple of months ago my mom asked me if I'd mind if she had me and him set up.

Anyway, I am going to see him tomorrow. That should be nice and awkward.

The reason this posting is called "Dating in real" is because this is so real. That's the main thing that freaked me out. Net-dating was safe because it was through a computer. It wasn't really real, until it became real. And it never really had to become real.

Here, we are talking about someone I've met. I've talked to. He's seen me deal with my money! He has seen me. And he's developed these feelings for me and is interested in dating me. That is pretty damn real.

I love bravery. I myself try to be brave and when a boy is brave, I'm highly impressed.

QE