bummer

I feel so bummed out. So sad. I just emailed this guy for around 1 week. Back and forth. It was really quite good. He sounded so cool and nice. He sounded so nice! He was sensitive. He was so aware of my feelings. I don't know... He just sounded good.

But he kept not asking me for my number. So finally I asked him why (I said I was sick of emailing and ready to move on) and he said that he was worried it was pushing things too quickly. So he asked me for my number.

But the phone conversation was so annoying. : ( Why!?!?!?!? It was just annoying to talk to him. It's so sad for me. It really makes me so damn sad. It makes me feel like I don't have energy. It makes me feel bummed out. It makes me feel like I don't wanna go to work because I don't have strength for it.

Truth is, anyway I was feeling that way about work. I think that's for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I didn't make any sales last night. But also, I think the full-timeness of it all is starting to hit me. I'm not sure if I'm built for full-time. For the record, it's not full time because I'll only be working 7 hours, 4 days a week and 4 hours 1 day a week. But that's tons for me.

The time goes by very slowly. Not CRAZY slowly but slowly nonetheless. I took off my watch last night but then I figured out how do the time difference with the clock on our wall. So that's not helping much. It helped a little but I don't think it's gonna keep helping.

There must be a healthy way to not watch the clock tick by. There must be a way to not be waiting, waiting, waiting for each shift to be over. I'm sure of it.

It's all about living in the moment. Things don't have to be boring.

It's all about renewal. HitCHadshut התחדשות. Sitting there at 1am isn't like sitting there at 1:15. Each moment should be new, different, special. There is something to learn at every step. There is something to be gained. You can become a better person if you utilize every moment.

QE