So much to write

I have so much to say. First of all, I am considering going offline with this blog. I feel so guilty to write about people. If I write something about someone that I think, if they knew about it, they'd be upset it's online for the world to read, I feel it's wrong to write it in a blog!

Someone told me that he reads the blog of a friend of his. The only thing is that it's an anonymous blog and the guy writes a lot about the problems he has with his wife. The friend just figured out who it is so now he knows about all these problems that otherwise he would have no idea about.

Is that right?

Anyway, on to other things.

On Friday I got together with nice boy. We went to the museum. Cause after the last date I was so ready not to go out with him again but then I was thinking about all the wonderful things about him and I decided I needed to give it another chance. But after speaking to my aunt I realized I need to do something different with him. I just can't sit across from him in a cafe again. It is so hard to do that over and over again with these guys. They are strangers!

It really did make a difference. I may not have felt comfy womfy : ) but it was a lot better. I was a little less nervous.

My favorite part was when we came across, in an exhibit, 2 arm chairs facing each other, with a coffee table in the middle, with books on it. It was such a cozy corner so we sat down there and ended up staying there till it closed. But it still was so different than sitting in a cafe because we had these books and the conversation just went different places because of the setting.

He is one of those guys that I wish it work out with. Maybe that's silly... But he has amazing traits. He's quiet. He's considerate. He calls everyday. AKA, he's dependable. I don't feel like I know him after 3 dates. He thinks I'm insightful. : ) He TOTALLY makes me laugh. Like, sincerely. As my aunt said, in a marriage, a laugh is more important than an intellectual conversation. Life is hard and you need to be able to laugh with your spouse. She said, if you want intellectual, take a course at a university. : )

It's amazing how he really does make me laugh. Truly amazing.

I hate when people dominate conversations. Today I spent lunch with a guy who was like that. And don't think it was fascinating! It just made me appreciate that N.B. (nice boy) doesn't do that at all. BUT, I think I do. I am so absolutely terrified of silence that I often just talk and talk and talk.

My aunt said that though silence bothers me, that doesn't mean it bothers everyone. We decided I needed to try and be silent. I did that in the cab for a while, while looking out at the pouring rain. It was a conscious effort. I wonder if he cared about that silence at all. I wonder if he noticed it. I wonder if he expects me to blah blah blah all the time. I can't. I won't. I shouldn't. It's so unhealthy for me.

Do I like how he thinks? That is a hard one for me to answer. I suppose so. But I'm not sure how much he thinks things out in depth.

Again, enters Aunt. She informs me not everyone likes analyzing things, like she and I do. And that won't necessarily make the person shallow, at all. They can be extremely deep. They just get to things in a more simple, matter-of-fact manner.

I'm telling you, I'm not sure I've heard anything as fascinating as that.

Bottom line is I want a really nice person. He doesn't need to be Mr. Analytical. Right? I would be writing analytical boy all this time I'm writing about him here because that wouldn't make me want to go out with him. It's that he's nice that attracts me to him.

QE