I feel like shit

I was hardly able to sleep last night. Had so much on my mind. It was going wild. Woke up a few times. And my alarm clock was supposed to go off at 6:30am and I woke up around 3 minutes before it. Horrible torture not sleeping enough.

Then, when I got to my course this morning (I'm taking a course once a week which maybe I'll talk about later), my friend and I went to buy ourselves coffee. We asked for it to be weak and I think it wasn't or I was really affected by the small amount of caffeine that was in there. Whichever it was, I've been nervous and shaky ever since. I forced myself to eat my sandwich during the break even though I didn't really feel like it because if I didn't, I think I'd be worse off.

But I just have so much on my mind and I don't know how to calm down. I don't know what to do with my life.

I don't know what to do with myself.

If I could do anything, what would it be?

I'd quit my job right now and the relationship with the guy.

But when I write about the guy, I have such an inner struggle.

I think I don't know what to expect from a relationship. I think I don't know how to trust myself.

QE