Confusion and nose-rings

I didn't know what to do. When I returned from our date, Monday evening, I had a strong feeling of wanting to stop dating him.

Oh, but there is something so cute about him!

The touching thing makes me so nervous. AKA, I don't want him to touch me. It adds an unbelievable amount of extra pressure. I need my space to think and feel at my speed.

When I told him about the time I shaved my hair, he thought it was really cool. He's probably the only guy I ever told who thought it was cool. He gave me the thumbs up when I told him about it. That was so cute too. But I was too busy being a nervous wreck to appreciate it.

Also, when I told him I'd thought of getting a nose-ring, he said he thought it was sexy. Eek.

It was really funny because I told him that my mom HAAAAAAAAAAAAATES nose-rings. She once kicked my sister out of the house because of one and she told me she wouldn't be able to look at me with it in my nose (I didn't tell him she said that I have such a beautiful face and I'd be wrecking it).

But I said that one of my arguments is always that it is OBVIOUSLY only a matter of style, not good or bad. For one thing, the mothers in the Bible probably all had nose-rings. : ) Also, why should earrings be OK but nose-rings not, if not because it's a style issue? And why should one person decide for another what style they should wear?

But then, I also explained to the nice boy that my over-all opinion on holes in the body is that it's ridiculous, stupid and weird. We want so much jewelry on our bodies that we need to make more holes?!

So he said something so cute. He said, "I'm trying to figure out who the conservative one is here." : )

He thinks in such a similar way to me. We have a lot in common that way. I think that is one of the reasons we have a very similar sense of humor. Seriously, it's really cool. He totally makes me laugh, really.

BUT BUT BUT... I feel uncomfortable, weird, not good. I'm thinking it's a few things:
1. The stress that maybe he wants to touch me and instead of talking about it, I'm just in suspense and trying to play the hands in the pocket act.

2. I'm worried he's more enthusiastic than me. I'm not sure he is anymore but if he's still like he was after the 1st date, he definitely is. I've heard that often the guy knows before the girl. If that's the case, I need to feel no pressure from the side of the guy. Not that I'm feeling actual pressure. But the idea of him being more into it than me makes me really defensive. Really, really, really defensive.

3. Our conversation isn't getting deep enough for my liking. But it's only been 2 dates so I'm not sure if it's just a matter of time. Do I believe that all in all he probably is a "deep" guy, whatever that means? I suppose. But I think about almost everything. The meaning of things, life... I need to be able to talk about that stuff.

Last night I called my aunt who lives on the other side of the world. Here it was the middle of the night and there she was serving dinner. She is very smart. So we came to a few conclusions. Firstly, I need to talk to my bil (bro-in-law) about the boy, find out what he knows about him from growing up together. Secondly, on the next date we must do something other than sit across from each other in a cafe! How much pressure is it to sit across from a stranger for hours, trying to talk?!

Of course one of the main things I need to do in all of this is introspection. Because whatever it is that's going on, I can learn about myself from it. Like, how am I reacting to different things and why. And, I can learn what to do or not to do from what he's doing. For example, if he's turning me off by acting enthusiastic, are there things that I do to turn other people off?

That is confusion and nose-rings

QE