I'm not sure if there's been enough evidence yet in my blog for you to know that I'm a nervous wreck. Evidence-based medicine eludes to the fact that I am, in fact, a nervous wreck.
Am I nervous because it was good or because it wasn't good? It being the date.
If it's good, I'm nervous because,
1. I'm worried he won't want to go out again.
2. the idea of a relationship actually working out terrifies me.
If it's not good, I'm nervous because,
1. I'm worried he had a good time and will want to go out again and get his hopes up.
2. I'm gonna have to tell him I don't want to go out again.
Anyway, I'm nervous because he's very nice and I wish I felt better about it. At this point I can't see it happening. But he's so nice! Or is he? I guess one of the positive things so far is that I don't really feel like I know him yet. My friend has a great rule that she'll go out with the guy if there is still anything she'd want to know about him.
What is bothering me? For sure it makes me want to barf the fact that he had such a nice time. Oh no!!! I seriously had to take a deep breath when I wrote that.
Hey, wanna hear something cute? I had a dream I was walking with him, arm in arm. And then I think we held hands for a bit. Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh...
Anyway, to get back to business, what bothers me, I think, is that I didn't feel like I connected that much to what he talked about. Sometimes I didn't even understand what he was talking about.
Then, I think, well, what can you expect from a 1st date? I'm 26 and he's 30. We've been living a long, long time without each other. It makes sense we aren't gonna just totally get it.
But still something bothers me. I do need to know if he is on a similar wave-length as me. I'm not so sure he is.
Anyway we're going out tomorrow evening. I guess we'll see what happens.
QE
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