Post date

I suppose if I sigh, it won't be the 1st time ever.

Last night I went on my 2nd date with the guy. It's so tough!!!! On the one hand, he's forsure a nice guy. On the other hand, I just felt so uncomfortable the whole time! I think I feel a little bad for him and think he's a little nerdy.

But that's where I'm a bum. I always preferred a guy that was a little more nerdy. And the truth is, he's not like "I don't know how to behave" nerdy. He's just not Mr. Cool. Which, HELLO!!!, supposedly I like.

I'm telling you, this is so confusing. On the one hand, after the date, I felt very strongly that I just wanted to end it. But when I think about it, without using my emotions (hahahahahahaha - as if that's possible), of course I should go out with him again because all in all we're on similar wave-lengths and he's nice and he totally makes me laugh.

But our conversation doesn't get very deep. In a way, I sometimes feel like I'm terrified of letting it get anywhere close to deeper because I feel stand-offish. I am so worried he's into me and it makes me defensive. Because I'm not sure, it worries me if I can feel the guy is interested in me. It actually terrifies me and makes me put on my guard. But when I do that, I'm not giving it a chance to develop.

Oy.

QE