"New" boy

So you never know what you should expect from guys and what not to expect.

See, I try to be understanding of the fact that a guy isn't necessarily gonna be considerate all the time. In my opinion, one of the most important things to notice is, when he does something inconsiderate, and you (hopefully) say something (in a nice way) to him about it, how does he react? Does he get all defensive? Does he feel at all badly? Does he feel badly that he made you feel bad? Does he want to know what to do next time in order to not hurt you again?

This "new" guy isn't totally new. He got in touch with me around 1 month ago and he just wrote me something so nice that I was sold almost right away. Oh, we're talking about the online thing again (that my mom is trying to convince my not to do, of course). He said I seemed like a special person and did I care to chat.

But why did he write me when he was actually too busy to be in touch with anyone?

So, I wrote back and then didn't hear from him in a couple of days so wrote again asking what was going on and then he said he wants to be in touch but he's too busy right now because of end of semester stuff. So I said I preferred if he'd just get in touch with me when he did have time to be in touch because I really didn't want to be in touch sporadically. I hate that stuff. I don't deal with it well at all. He really appreciated my straight-forwardness and said he'd be in touch with me later on. After a couple of weeks I wrote him again asking him if he was ever planning on getting in touch with me again but then I didn't hear back from him (yes, he read the email). So, I wrote again a couple of days ago that I would have appreciated the same straight-forwardness he had appreciated from he. He wrote back that he had been to busy to be in touch and that he didn't feel it was worth it to write when he wouldn't be able to be in touch for a week after that. That part definitely didn't make that much sense to me.

OK, 1st about me. I'm a big nerd. I'm a loser. I'm needy. I'm desperate. I have no patience. Fine, I have very little patience. I am throwing myself at the guy. I don't realize that I need to wait and if he wants me, he'll come and get me.

No, instead I keep writing and writing. You know how you can see how many letters you've exchanged with a person online? So, it's like twice the amount from me as from him to me.

So I feel like a big idiot but then on the other hand I don't because I hate rules. I hate having to do things that are so forced. I know that something might be forced and still the right thing to do but sometimes I'm just like, "Screw it," and I do what I want to do.

In this case I am pushing to be in touch with this guy. Why? Because he has one of the greatest profiles I've ever read. For those of you who know online dating (only for those of you who know it close up and personally), you know about those very few profiles that really touch you. You feel you understand them or really want to understand them. You find them intriguing. You feel interested in knowing the person who wrote that profile.

Sigh sigh sigh... This boy is like that. What a totally cool profile. It was so nice that when he wasn't answering me (at least the 1st time), I couldn't help but give him the benefit of the doubt because, I thought, anyone who could write such a profile must be so nice.

Anyway, now I don't know if I should answer what he wrote me or now just wait. On the one hand, the game rules could very possibly point to waiting but on the other hand, I truly do hate the rules in a passionate way. I need to just ignore his email? I'm not one to do that (usually). If I got an email from him, I want to answer it. It feels wrong not to.

Well, we shall see what I decide to do. At this moment I'm too tired. Bye bye...

QE