"A few nights ago I had the craziest dream ever. Mainly weird because of my extremely positive feelings towards it.
We were at a humongous gathering. Some sort of a protest but not sure what kind because people were being all calm. I remember feeling like no one was really saying what they were feeling and so I finally decided to take matters into my own hands. I started screaming at the top of my lungs (remember, really big place with thousands of people) everything I really thought. I just kept screaming and screaming. Finally, 2 security guards came to take care of me. I was sure at 1st that they were going to do something bad to me. They picked me up and it looked as if they were going to put me in a bookcase (hey, what can I say? it was a dream) but then, I think they just took me out of the hall.
Turns out that because of the way I acted, they put 24/7 security on me. So everywhere I went, everything I did, I had 2 guards with me.
Don't ask me why. I feel AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! about this dream! I'm telling you. I feel ecstatic everytime I think of this dream. Seriously, as I'm writing this, I have tears in my eyes from feeling so unbelievable about it. And amusingly, the whole guards thing makes me feel great too. I just love to even think about it. I don't know why! I mean, I'm laughing and crying and my stomach is going a little crazy, just thinking about it. I'm so excited about it."
That is what I wrote to my homeopath. See, this actually totally makes sense because my personality includes always trying to figure out the right thing to say and do. I never want to say the wrong thing. My conscience is humongous. Whenever I do maybe say something blunt, I feel so badly about it because I'm so worried about someone getting hurt from it or what someone might think about me from it.
But on the other hand I am quite the blunt person. I often say things most people would be scared to say. But I guess the point is that within that, I am extremely calculated. Or at least, I try as hard as I can to be.
In this dream, I did the opposite of what I'm always trying to do. I said what I thought, and not just in a secret diary locked up somewhere but in front of thousands of people. I screamed it at the top of my lungs! I kept going and going. It was the most liberating experience.
So when the guards came to take me away, it didn't really matter because I felt so great about having gotten it all of my chest. I didn't feel any guilt from it. I didn't worry about it. Even though it was serious enough that the authorities obviously got nervous about me and decided to put 24/7 guards on me. And not just 1. I always had 2 people following me around. In my dream, I even go to work with the guards.
Funny. I still feel good when I think about it. Why in the world would I like the idea of being followed around?
So, as you see, I really did have a dream and it's a beautiful dream. Maybe one day I can be a really happy person. What a beautiful idea. Imagine... Feeling so happy.
Please G-d I hope one day to feel as happy from something in "real" life as I did/do from that dream.
That is what I wrote to my homeopath. See, this actually totally makes sense because my personality includes always trying to figure out the right thing to say and do. I never want to say the wrong thing. My conscience is humongous. Whenever I do maybe say something blunt, I feel so badly about it because I'm so worried about someone getting hurt from it or what someone might think about me from it.
But on the other hand I am quite the blunt person. I often say things most people would be scared to say. But I guess the point is that within that, I am extremely calculated. Or at least, I try as hard as I can to be.
In this dream, I did the opposite of what I'm always trying to do. I said what I thought, and not just in a secret diary locked up somewhere but in front of thousands of people. I screamed it at the top of my lungs! I kept going and going. It was the most liberating experience.
So when the guards came to take me away, it didn't really matter because I felt so great about having gotten it all of my chest. I didn't feel any guilt from it. I didn't worry about it. Even though it was serious enough that the authorities obviously got nervous about me and decided to put 24/7 guards on me. And not just 1. I always had 2 people following me around. In my dream, I even go to work with the guards.
Funny. I still feel good when I think about it. Why in the world would I like the idea of being followed around?
So, as you see, I really did have a dream and it's a beautiful dream. Maybe one day I can be a really happy person. What a beautiful idea. Imagine... Feeling so happy.
Please G-d I hope one day to feel as happy from something in "real" life as I did/do from that dream.
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